Research on Mary has turned up many interesting facts--birth date, siblings' names, children's names, etc. But wouldn't it be interesting to know how she felt? Because of an 1841 letter kept by Peggy Milloy (Mary's mother), we get a peek into Mary's thoughts and feelings. She wrote it the same week the enumerator collected the 1841 census. Mary addressed it to "Mrs. Milloy, care of Mrs. Donald McMillan, Erin, Gore District, Canada." Mrs. Donald McMillan was Mary's sister, Kate Milloy.
Kate was dearly loved by her younger sister, Mary, evidenced in the naming of her children. The Scottish tradition is to name the first daughter after her maternal grandmother. Mary named her first daughter Kate, rather than after her mother Margaret (aka Peggy). One year later, in 1822, sister Kate and her family emigrated to Erin. Mary and Kate's parents followed in 1829. Mary addressed her 1841 letter in "care of" Kate, so their now widowed mother, Peggy, was likely living with her.
How did I obtain a copy of Mary's letter? For 137 years, presumably family members kept the letter. In 1978, it was donated to the Wellington County Historical Research Society. Thirty-five years later, Mary's great-great-grandson, Dave Robertson, learned of the letter being kept at the Wellington County Museum and Archives. Thanks to the foresight of family members and the skills of curators, we know of Mary's desires, written in her own words by her own hand. The following excerpts highlight her desire to go to Upper Canada:
Dear Mother, I take this opportunity to inform that I am spared in the land of the living thanks to God. Hoping these lines will find you in the same and enjoying ordinary health. I am surprised that neither you nor any of my brothers or sisters wrote us for some time back…. I have written now three times but never received an answer. According to the promises in the last letter I got, I was always in good hopes that something would be done by my friends in that quarter for me…. [1]
Mary was clearly asking for help to join her family. Most of her siblings, along with their spouses and children, had already emigrated to Erin Township. The only ones left in Scotland were Mary and her brother, John. Thinking her mother might feel it a burden to help both her and her brother, Mary pre-empted that concern by stating, “Whatever you will do for me to assist me over, by all appearance [John] will not trouble you, as he has taken a large farm.”
How long had Mary been harbouring this desire to emigrate? It had been almost twenty years since Kate had left Scotland, and twelve years from the time their parents followed Kate. This must have felt like an eternity for Mary. She gives a clue when she writes:
We were preparing to cross the Atlantick last year—and this year again I was preparing, but of late I took a bad turn of sickness & was near three weeks care less about America—but since improved, my old inclination towards it returned again.
Her phrase “my old inclination” indicates she had been nursing her ambition for some time. For now, however, Mary had resigned herself to staying a while longer. Who knows the challenges she might have been facing, or the pleadings, debates, and discussions she had had with Archie. In the end, she stated, “Now we have agreed to remain as we are for the ensuing year.”
I wonder what was holding them back, for it will be much, much longer than one more year before Archie and Mary join her family in Canada.
She had often spoken to John about going to Canada. He seemed keen to join his cousins there. Perhaps he would lead the way.
References:
[1] Letter from Mary Milloy to Peggy Beaton Milloy, 11 June 1841, Wellington County Museum and Archives. Used with permission. In the above quote, I corrected some spelling and punctuation for readability. For a scan of the original letter (PDF format), see below.
[2] Ibid. (emphasis added).
Thanks to the Wellington County Museum for obtaining a clear scan of this letter. The letter is catalogued as:
"Accession Number: A1978.30.250
"Description: Correspondence, Letter
"Envelope, Letter to Dear mother from Mary Milloy, Scotland, addressed to Mrs. Milloy, care of Mrs. Donald McMillan, Erin, Gore District, Canada, 1841; beige paper, handwritten."
To download a PDF of the letter, click below. I have two scans. The first is before the curator cleaned up the adhesive tape. The second is after the cleanup. The first one also includes a typed transcription.
Note: Mary signed off as "Mary Milloy," using her maiden name as opposed to her married name Darroch. Scottish women interchangeably used their own or their husband's surname. Interestingly, Mary used her birth name but referred to her mother and sister by their married names, Milloy and McMillan, respectively.